Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I have realized,

I don't have a butt.
Seriously, I don't.
I was wearing yoga pants today, and they're supposed to make my butt look good.
But I spent the entire day pulling them up because THEY KEPT FALLING OFF.  Like, just slipping down my butt.
...the fuck?
Why?  I have chubb, why don't I have a butt?
It doesn't make sense.
And it's kinda depressing.
I wish I had a butt.
Ya think the Wizard could get me one?

I got my braces tightened yesterday, and it hurts like hell when I try to eat.  HELL, I tell you, HELL.
H-E-doublehockeysticks :)
Remember when we used to say that?
"What word?"
"What's the H-Word?"
"H-E-Double Hockey Sticks!"
"Shhh, don't tell anyone I said it.''
Aww, I miss those days.  Now it's all like, hell, fuck, shit, bitch, whore...
fuck looks really pretty in cursive.  Like the word, "fuck", written in cursive.  Gorgeous.

There's a 100 Grand sitting on the table.
It's taunting me.
Tempting me.
I can hear it, "Eeeeeatttt meeeeee.  Eeeeeatttt meeee, eeeeatttt meeeeee...Oh wait, you can't cuz your teeth hurt. NYEEEAHHAHAHAHAA!!! NANANANAPOOPY, YOU CAN'T EAT ME!!"
God, shut the fuck up.
Stupid piece of chocolate.

LOLJK, I didn't eat it guys.
It would be more pain than pleasure.

Like sex with a cactus.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Soooo Ready for Spring

I think today was kind of a preview of spring.  Sorta like a teaser.  Like, here's some warm weather, so you get excited and feel happy...but tomorrow you'll be wearing your winter coat again, so don't get too excited.
It was really nice, and like a good preview...it makes me want to fast forward to April.  Damn you, previews.
I'm so done with winter, to be honest with you.  The little bit of snow that's left on the ground has turned gray-brown and slushy, which just looks dirty and disgusting and annoying if you happen to step in it.  Plus, I just bought white short shorts which I am DYING to wear.  It's funny how one little thing can change your outlook like that.  
The only thing that's keeping me clinging on to winter is Deborah Lippman.  I just gave myself a manicure yesterday when Lyss came over, with Lady Sings the Blues (or something like that...I'm too lazy to look it up).  It's this deep, dark, midnight blue with silver glitter in large hexagons and smaller circles.  It's like a starry night sky.  Absolutely gorgeous, even though it's the darkest color I've ever worn.  
Of course, being the genius that I am, I did 2 coats on my right hand and only 1 on my left and I don't remember if I put top coat on or not.  I was really distracted because Lyss was showing me videos of luanlegacy/a gay a day on YouTube, and I'm now thoroughly obsessed with him.  He's hysterical, like laugh-out-loud funny.  
We also watched an episode of Jersey Shore on her laptop.  JWoww's boobs scare me.  Like they're so huge and pushed up so high...they look like aliens or something taking over her body.  *shudders*
I feel oily.  Like my face just feels greasy.  But I'm too lazy to find my oil remover wipes, so I'll just sit here in my grease.  
Oh god, that sounds so disgusting.  Like I'm drowning in butter something.  Oh dear god, this is worse than JWoww's boobs.  
I should really start my Bio homework.  I have to outline 2 sections about DNA.  Like really, I don't give two shits about genotypes and phenotypes.  Tell someone who cares.
Oh, and then I have to find Spartacus.  Oh Spartacus, you crazy slave you.  SPARTACUS.  Imagine that in a deep, rumbly voice.  SPARTACUSSSS.  SSSPPPPARRRTTTAACCUUSSSS.  Damn.
I got a new planner today.  It's brown and pink and it supports breast cancer.  (Feel you boobies, ladies.  Cancer is some serious shit.)  I also got a notebook.  Which I supposedly need for English.  But not really, I'm just going to doodle all over it, so I don't have distracting drawings in my math notebook and whatnot.  I love new stationary.  It's a weird obsession.  Don't judge me.  
Anyway, I have to go set up the video camera for Sibling.  Goodnight, Blogland.  Sweet dreams.

[In My Ears:  Father on the phone with his parents.]
[On My Mind:  DECA comp, and the shopping that has to happen in preparation.  New skirts, teehee.]