Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I have realized,

I don't have a butt.
Seriously, I don't.
I was wearing yoga pants today, and they're supposed to make my butt look good.
But I spent the entire day pulling them up because THEY KEPT FALLING OFF.  Like, just slipping down my butt.
...the fuck?
Why?  I have chubb, why don't I have a butt?
It doesn't make sense.
And it's kinda depressing.
I wish I had a butt.
Ya think the Wizard could get me one?
Ugh.

I got my braces tightened yesterday, and it hurts like hell when I try to eat.  HELL, I tell you, HELL.
H-E-doublehockeysticks :)
Remember when we used to say that?
"OOOOH, SHE SAID A BAD WORD!!"
"What word?"
"The...H-WORD."
"What's the H-Word?"
"H-E-Double Hockey Sticks!"
"OOOOHHHHHH!!!"
"Shhh, don't tell anyone I said it.''
Aww, I miss those days.  Now it's all like, hell, fuck, shit, bitch, whore...
fuck looks really pretty in cursive.  Like the word, "fuck", written in cursive.  Gorgeous.

There's a 100 Grand sitting on the table.
It's taunting me.
Tempting me.
I can hear it, "Eeeeeatttt meeeeee.  Eeeeeatttt meeee, eeeeatttt meeeeee...Oh wait, you can't cuz your teeth hurt. NYEEEAHHAHAHAHAA!!! NANANANAPOOPY, YOU CAN'T EAT ME!!"
God, shut the fuck up.
Stupid piece of chocolate.
.
.
.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMOREEEEE
NOMNOMNOM

LOLJK, I didn't eat it guys.
It would be more pain than pleasure.

Like sex with a cactus.

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